I can’t even think of a way to begin
so I won’t really- I’ll just jump in. I know I shouldn’t want you but I do. I know I am supposed to be falling in love with the most perfect boyfriend any girl could ever ask for… but I would trade everything I have with him for one day with you. I honestly have never wanted anyone so much before. I should be satisfied with what I have, but I can’t- it doesn’t matter how good things get, I will always want you. I wonder if you want me too. I guess you don’t and I guess I know that but it is kind of nice to pretend that you weren’t lying for the last year; it would be nice to pretend that you gave a shit. But it doesn’t matter if you don’t cae because I will still give you anything you ask and you don’t seem to be shy about asking. So I can’t make you stop thinking about her but I can make you scream out my name: I can fuck her over. I should feel bad that I am fucking him over in the process, but I don’t- I haven’t felt anything in a very long time; anything, that is, except your skin on mine.
Fuck, I love you….but you made me a monster.
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